My nurse gave me some Gravol and morphine for my headache to try to help settle me down. I complained that I was having some nausea. I slept on and off throughout the morning, each time I woke up I complained that my headache was getting worse.
My white board stats today were as follows: hemoglobin 79, platelets 18 and white blood cells 0.5. Once again this is to be expected as a result of the chemo and medications. The doctors decided that I would have another platelet and blood transfusion on this day to target my platelets to above 20 and my hemoglobin above 80. It was disheartening to wake up and see the numbers on the board and see that they aren't good enough. I felt I was doing something wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have walked so far and exerted myself so much yesterday is a thought that crossed my mind. There goes the pride and sense of accomplishment that I had felt the previous afternoon.
Even though I was heavily medicated on painkillers my subconscious mind was on a rollercoaster of emotions. I tried to stay positive as best as I could and put on a brave face for my family but there are some days that you just want to lay in bed and be sick. I did not have many days like that, but this, my 13th day of treatments was one of those days.
I began throwing up very intensely without any warning. I would be laying there sleeping and all of a sudden my bed was a mess. I had 5 or 6 bed and gown changes, like I said those kidney basins are really useless!
Dr.Seftal, one of my oncologists sent me for an MRI because the pressure in my head remains and he would like a better idea what is going on in terms of the healing process and any possible long term damage that may have occurred. He has some disheartening news that the leukemia may be in my central nervous system (brain) as well but states that it is a very remote chance. He wants to be proactive if this is the case and catch it early. Dr.Seftal also is going to arrange for a more in depth speech/learning assessment to confirm that there are no cognitive learning issues as a result of what is going on inside my head.
I had not seen it yet, as I had not looked into a mirror since being admitted, but my eyes had no white to them. The outer white portion of my eyes that surrounds the colored part was completely RED. Yes that's exactly how red it was. I must have looked like something out of a horror movie. My family did a good job of hiding it though since I had no idea. They looked at me the same as they normally would! This was a result of the pressure in my head being so high that it burst all the vessels in my eyes. I was also having issues with my vision. Everything I looked at was blurry and doubled. It made it difficult to watch the Food Network, Ellen, or The Price is Right when you cannot see it. I still enjoyed listening though. I would close my eyes and just listen. It may have appeared that I was asleep so when anyone changed the channel or shut off the TV they would get a not so nice glare. I was the boss, it was my room. At least that was my thoughts :).
I loved being on D6, I got my own room which could be decorated however I wanted. I had pictures of friends and family all over my walls. I had my own TV which was only allowed to be tuned to 1 of the 3 options I mentioned before. I got to use my laptop and talk to my friends on MSN and Facebook (I needed help typing in passwords since my double vision made it difficult to spell correctly.) I want to thank everyone that I chatted to for putting up with my typos! The only thing I wasn't allowed to have in D6 was flowers. (I didn't mind since I think they are a waste of money because they don't last long!)
Sorry for the scary picture, but this is exactly how my eyes looked.
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